George Grie

I feel obligated to inform you all that the images I use as "headers" for this blog are all made by the artist George Grie. Most of his images can be found at neosurrealismart.com, but you can also try searching google by typing "George Grie" and you will get a nice selection.

Briefly.

I'm sitting here, at Joackim's mother's house, blogging. One could kind of get the feeling that I don't have a life. That might be true, who knows? But Joackim's sitting by another computer, playing on his beloved game Eve. So, why shouldn't I? Should I just sit next to him, owling him game through galaxies, when I can have fun by a computer of my own? I think not.
Today we're also invited to a party at his brother's house, so I think we'll have to go back to Jocke's (Joackim's) house and get ready soon. Obviously his brother's a bit picky when it comes to getting on time. And I am the worst ever to get on time, so unfortunately it seems like he'll experience many disappointments during our acquaintance.
I think I am going to be an even greater nerd now, during the time that's left until we have to go back to Joackim's appartment. So if you look for me, you'll find me here (AnxietyAttack89).

Tired, so tired.

I hate being unable to settle. If someone comes with a suggestion, I might be thrilled about it or planely hate it. Whatever my answer might be, there's a great risk that I've changed my mind about it the next day. Probably even changing my mind not just one time, but several a day.
Also I've also started to experience trouble with my memory. My two dear friends, Kimberley and Ulrika visited me yesterday, and when Ulrika asked me if I had been partying the past weekend, I could honestly not remember what I had spent my weekend doing.
It was the same thing a few days ago when I went with Joackim to his mother's house and she asked me what we had been doing the day before. My mind was completely blank, and I had to tell her that I honestly didn't have a clue. That felt quite embarrassing, probably could've given the impression that I had been drinking an amount of liqeur so big yesterday that my memory about it now was a big, blank fuzz. And well, that's not quite the impression I would like to give the mother of my boyfriend.
I guess I need a big change, don't know in what form however.
It feels like I'm under a big cloud of pressure. And it feels like it's coming from all directions.
My dad, my family, my boyfriend, my friends, from school... I'm so tired right now, I just want to hurdle up in a corner and rock myself to sleep.

5 months

Yesterday Jocke and I had our 5 months anniversairy.
We didn't celebrate it in any certain way, fact is that if we celebrated every of our month-anniversairies in a special way we'd get broke quite fast.
But 5 months is still something great. We've lasted for 5 months and are still going steady! It's worth celebration of some sort, and if not in cash - why not in the form of a blog post?

Rapid changes of a person's mind.

Today I found some random dude at a site. This site, called bilddagboken, is a site where you post your pictures as a diary with own texts below for everyone to see. Anyways, at first this man seemed fairly alright. He was heartbroken, which was obvious for everyone that read his "diary", and one couldn't help but sympathize with him. Then one checked one or two days earlier. It showed that he had some serious issues! Or at least to me they seemed like real issues. For one his ex-girlfriend had been about 18-22 years old when he himself was in around 40-45. That "overcome-able", age doesn't have to affect a relationship as long as both parts are on the same level. But then one thing prooved that got me real afraid. She had cut off all contact with him at maximum 10 days ago, but they had been friends a couple of months before that, and now he obviously felt really miserable. This far it's all right, still no odd reaction from his side. Then I come to a certain date. He had uploaded a picture of her. There was nothing wrong with this picture neither, but the text beneath wasn't so much pleasant. Below the picture he had written that he had uploaded nude pictures of her onto the web, without her permission, for everyone to see. And he had also written down a description on how to get to that site.
It's disgusting. I understand that he has hard feelings. After all they had been a couple for over 2 years, and it all went from being boyfriend/girlfriend to best friends to nothing in a short amount of time. He even wrote that she had been bad mouthing him to her friends and such, so that must have been really nerve wrecking for him. But he kept repeating in the previous pictures that he loved her, that he hoped it could be the two of them again. How can a person write one day that you love someone to death, and the next post humiliating pictures of the same person on the internet without permission? He really dragged himself into the dirt by doing that. And now he's also flirting with lots of girls that are 19 and alike. Putting pornographic pictures on the same site, saying that he's going to score a lot during the evening and that women are dispensible objects meant to be used.
This man is trying to glorify himself, and at the same time he acts like a full blown jerk.
I can't understand how people can be like that. Change from one to another personality so rapidly. It scares me, and I hate the thought of someone close to me doing that. I like to believe that I can trust people. Though I've gotten to experience quite a few times now that, that is not a truthful fact.

I feel that this certain post is taking more space than I thought, so therefore I'll round it up for this time.

Circumstances designs the taste of a mind.

My boyfriend is probably the best one can find :)
The past sunday (that is the day before today), he got dressed and ready to go without me noticing. Then when he was ready I saw what he was doin' and wondered where the hell he was going. He said he was going to go shop. I assumed he went to buy groceries and got annoyed at him for not telling me earlier that he planned on going. Maybe I, too, wanted to shop? Anyways, he went out and I jumped into the shower. When he got back he showed up in the bathroom while I was showering, and from behind his back out he pops a rose. Of course I wondered why I got a rose all of a sudden. Seems he understood that, 'cause I didn't even need to ask, he just told me anyways that he dropped by the flower shop on the way and just had to buy me a rose. He's too damn sweet! :)
And now I have it in a beautiful vase on my table, in the centre of my room, for everyone to see as soon as they walk within these four walls. I've never really liked the smell of roses, but this time I'd lie if I said I don't. Guess it's the circumstances that designs the taste.